How Fear, Shame and Anxiety Define Our Business Decisions and Practices

By Steve Hearsum, founder of Edge + Stretch

Beneath the strategies, plans and targets being discussed in every boardroom meeting, there lie several emotions which influence business decisions and practices. Yet fear, shame and anxiety are rarely acknowledged – and discussed even less often – despite clear links between these and the way in which organisations are run and decisions are made. Steve Hearsum, founder of Edge + Stretch, is a long-time proponent of discussing uncomfortable topics in service of developing individuals and organisations, often seeing real progress made towards overcoming challenges and navigating change once leaders allow themselves to explore what often remains undiscussed.

How much of a role do fear, anxiety and shame play in business decisions and practices?

“They are pivotal, even if we often do not acknowledge this, much less openly discuss it in corporate settings. But once leaders develop their curiosity, not only recognising their existence but also daring to talk about them more openly, they begin to accelerate their own development and that of their organisation.

“The fear of getting it wrong, the anxiety of not knowing the answer or being able to admit you do not know, of making ‘the wrong decision’ – all have the potential to evoke shame. They encourage some to reach for ‘quick fixes’, lured in by the promise of a simple solution (or silver bullet) to solve the problem they are facing. For others, the shame of not knowing can result in feelings of inferiority, undermining efforts to lead with confidence and authority.

“Many of us recognise anxiety is an autonomous nervous system response to threat, whether perceived or real, which gives rise to reactions such as fight, flight or freeze. We know that these are evolutionary responses that evoke in us similar reactions to those our caveman ancestors relied upon to keep them safe from sabre toothed tigers. When it comes to business decisions and practices, everyone is facing the modern-day corporate equivalent of caveman-era beasts, yet we rarely have the conversation about how our nervous system operates in these scenarios.”

What reactions might business leaders have to unacknowledged fear, shame and anxiety?

“Leaders may look to others, such as external consultants, for certainty – and I have seen many times the discomfort which results from not being presented with an immediate solution, as well as the eagerness to accept any answer given to them even if they have to ignore nagging doubts or colleague critique (or cynicism) in order to do so. Implementing what appears to be a quick fix is often a byproduct of leaders attempting to reduce their anxiety by doing something – anything! –  which might work; simultaneously, this desire to rush to decision can arise from the pressure to be seen as all-knowing and capable.

“In many scenarios, especially when new or complex challenges present themselves, the reality is that you simply do not and cannot know what will work. Yet the pressures and expectations (both internal and external) have the potential to generate anxiety, fear and distress as you try and decide on the best course of action.

“While taking fast, decisive action might help to quell anxiety and fear, it can result in shame, for example from believing the wrong choice was made, with all of the associated worries around being exposed as incompetent, or undermining both your own and others’ perception of being an infallible leader.”

How can leaders bring awareness to this, and respond appropriately?

“It is about being more comfortable with not knowing. Despite the links we rationally make between leadership and qualities like intelligence and decisiveness, there is value in admitting there is no easy solution to a particular challenge, and taking the time to properly assess the benefits and drawbacks of each option available.

“Effective leaders can, and should, call upon the collective expertise of their team – and must also be willing to learn through experimentation. By utilising consultants as a collaborative partner rather than a saviour, and moving away from an anxiety-driven need for certainty, individuals and organisations begin navigating challenge and complexity from a place of curiosity: asking themselves and others what is happening and how to respond, without oversimplifying the issue or grasping at the first half-credible idea which comes to mind.”

Can we learn to override our natural feelings of anxiety, fear and shame?

“We cannot turn off these feelings, and nor would we want to in the case of the automatic nervous system response to threats – this is part of what it means to be human. But having open conversations about their existence and impact helps draw individual and collective attention to their influence.

“Asking questions and taking the time to engage in collective sense making, might feel uncomfortable, but ultimately this develops leadership practice. Mindfulness and resilience programmes have made their way into corporate life, and they can (when well designed and not treated as a sticking plaster for intractable problems) be useful; but we need to make it easier to have uncomfortable conversations, to talk about what would otherwise remain undiscussable yet bend us out of shape. To be clear: this is not a call for organisational therapy. It is however saying that we need to find ways to talk about human and relational dynamics that bend us out of shape in the context of the roles we take up at work.

“It is entirely normal to worry about outcomes, or to fret when we feel we have not made the ‘best’ decision. By refusing to admit that our emotions play a role in the way we respond to challenges and make decisions, we are more likely to make rushed, panicked choices. Having insight into not only how we show up the way we do but why we do so is a strength. It reminds us that we are all human and prevents us from reaching as much for quick fix solutions. People are complex, and it is time we openly recognised that this might affect how we show up and the impact we have, in particular when it comes to decisions and how they are made. The alternative is to remain stuck in patterns that are more dysfunctional and less effective than we might care to admit.”